This is a random concept that just popped into my head the other day. I’m not really sure what to do with it, but this is the prologue I’ve written. Does it sound interesting at all? And also, is the grammar and all that jazz correct?
Prologue:
The house, an old Victorian style home located in the depths of Sydney’s inner city circle, gave way to one last and final piece of luggage that was carefully lifted and carried out of the house, where it was carted onto the back of a small and rundown removalist’s truck.
This was no ordinary removalist’s truck, however, as the truck was an oddly brilliant shade of green. It also had the strange ability to fly rather than drive like most ordinary trucks. And that wasn’t the only thing. For starters, the removalists, who were a couple of short and stocky men in cream coloured blouses and red suspenders, weren’t your average removalist workers. Nor were they Santa’s little helpers.
For seconds, they were moving furniture at close to midnight. No one who was walking past them or who was in the vicinity of their company seemed to notice their presence, and with gloomy expressions on their faces they continued doing their work. The last piece they happened to carry out, which was a handsome leather oakwood chair, had once belonged to the late Professor Abacus Rose, whose untimely passing caught the attention of many who came to offer their condolensces to his only child, Scarlett Rose.
Scarlett Rose was a lot of things that weren’t fitted to the standards of a normal teenage girl. For one, she possessed a great deal of knowledge that surpassed the average seventeen year old. Secondly, she had never once attended a schooling institution – not one, as she had been tutored and sheltered from the outside world by her father her entire life. Which was odd, even by magical standards. And third, which was, perhaps, the most incredible and brilliant oddity of them all, was that Scarlett Rose was a Witch. And a good one, at that.
But no thought’s of witchcraft crossed Scarlett’s mind that night as the removalists finished loading up the furniture that had been in the Rose household for as long as Scarlett could remember. No, they were to be flown off to Waipukurau, New Zealand, where Scarlett was to live with her Aunt and her family until she became a legal adult.
‘You cumin’ with us, Missy?’ asked one of the removalists, a particularly pugdy one with grey hair sticking out of his ears and a noticible hook nose. He was standing in front of her, holding a leather clip board in his hands. ‘It says ere’ that you ordered the "Self-Included" package’
‘Pardon?’ said Scarlett, confused.
‘I think he’s refering to the getting to New Zealand part your Aunt so deliriously forgot to mention in her letter. You’d think that in the span of eight months after the Master’s death, she’d have informed you of this arrangement by now’ drawled Scarlett’s cat, Newton, who sat perched on her shoulder. Scarlett shot him a silencing look.
‘Yeah. It means you’re included in the delivery, love. I take it it wasn’t you oo’ made this order?’ Said the removalist, running a hand down the back of his head. He seemed to be getting a little irritated.
‘Oh’ said Scarlett, caught off guard. She pulled back her filmsy grey cloak to reveal a pale face and bright red hair. ‘Right. Right, yes, it was my Aunts who assembled that order. My apologies’.
The man didn’t seem to care much. He looked over at his partner who was already in the truck and they exchanged a look. ‘Ugh, alrightey then, love, well let’s hop to it, then’
‘Excuse me?’
It was going to be a long night.
I really like your writing style! However a prologue is supposed to grasp the reader. This prologue doesn’t really have much interesting content. Maybe you should create a dramatic twist in which the workers takes and kidnaps Scarlett? I’m not sure if that would change your storyline considerably, but it’s just a suggestion of mines. Other then that, good job!
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